Most of my posts inspirations come from Facebook, I am in a variety of groups including ones for cloth nappy parents, babywearers and CMPA support groups. Over the last few weeks I have seen an increasing number of ‘what sort of parent are you?’ type posts based upon whether your child is cloth bummed, if you baby wear, breast feed/formula feed, co-sleep, let them cry it out or cuddle to sleep etc, etc. I have witnessed arguments break out over differences of opinions or certain aspects of their parenting do not suit their overall ‘style’. Mothers telling other mothers they are doing it wrong! These types of posts are beginning to get on my nerves, why should a parent feel the need to fit into a category? Does one or other make you a better/worse parent? As long the child is happy and healthy, can you really do it wrong?
So, how do I parent bear? and why do it that way?
Bear was breastfed for 7wks, but due to his allergies he has been formula fed since 4wks old too, had he not had his allergies, who knows how long I would have fed him for.
He is cloth bummed (due to his eczema, I would never of considered it if he didn’t get so sore. Although I love it now and will cloth bum any future children too!)
Bear has a dummy, he has had one since 4 days old. He took to it well, initially to stop him using the breast as a comfort (somewhat selfishly on my part) but he continued to feed well and still uses his dummy today. I am in no rush to take it away, he finds it a great comfort and doesn’t have it in every second of every day (if it is on the floor whilst he is playing, I quietly pick it up and give it back only when he needs it)
I babywear on occasion, often during a quick trip round a shopping centre, it is easier than manoeuvring a pushchair around and waiting for lifts as well as putting the pushchair in and out of cars. I also babywear at work a lot, it helps bear go to sleep and leaves my arms free for doing my work!
We do co-sleep sometimes, more out of necessity, should I let him cry all night long, getting himself in a state and no one would get any sleep? Or should I put him in bed with us, where he settles well and sleeps for longer so we can all get rest? This is only really the case when he is poorly, otherwise he would sleep in his own bed….and YES! His cot is still in our room, with no plans to move him out soon.
If bear wants to, I am happy to cuddle him to sleep. The only time he ever falls asleep without cuddles is in the car or pushchair (with the exception of once, last week when poorly from his reaction, where he fell asleep in the middle of the living room floor). I am happy with this, he is not going to be wanting mummy cuddles forever, so make the most of it!
We began weaning Bear at 4 months (against the ‘new recommendations’). He hated his milk, which we do not blame him for doing, it is vile, and has since thrived on proper food. We switched to baby led weaning as soon as it was safe to do so as bear wanted to, he got bored of being spoon fed and wanted to be a big boy!
I do not let him ‘cry it out’ with the exception of occasionally in the car, where we don’t really have any other option (he gets way less worked up whilst travelling now he is in his ‘big boy’ seat, which is forward facing *gasp* he isn’t in an extended rear facing seat??). If he is sad, I pick him up and cuddle him, smother him in kisses and play silly games to make him smile….this does not make him a mummy’s boy wimp, when he falls, he barely ever cries, he gets back up and starts again.
He is a very independent little boy, he loves to feed himself the same as everyone else, even trying to use a spoon or fork when he can. My choices as a parent were made with me and bear in mind. I will bet that some reading this will have very different opinions to me, which I value, everyone is different and get on better making different choices, ones that are better suited to them and their child. I wouldn’t devalue their parenting because they use disposable nappies, or have sleep trained their little one or moved them into their own room at 4 months or anything else they have decided to do for their child, it is their right as the parent to make these choices. I think a little less judging others parenting skills and a little more focussing on their own children would go a long way in life. All I ask is to not be categorised as anything else, other than a loving mother doing the best she can for her child.
mummy tales of an allergy baby 